Head Coach Roy’s Real Talk 1- Bullies and Victims, can both be ‘lifesaved’ by MMA
Alright time for real talk here, quick explanation;
‘Lifesaved’ is a term I use when I can take a think back to the time I first met a student at the gym, and relate it to the person they are today. Not a matter of life and death in the literal sense, I can see the difference MMA training did for that person, and can imagine the trouble they’d be in now if they hadn’t dedicated themselves to training and learnt the concept of respect.
Unfortunately through the schooling system, the bully usually gets away with a lot of injustices through physical action and psychological torment that is shielded away from teachers in a world of secrecy and spite.
The Bully (overly confident, angry in nature, quick to jealousy)
Perhaps as a sub-sequential act of nature balancing the scales, the bully is usually one day found out to lack the mental gumption their psychological actions had advertised.
It happens like a miracle to their peers, an act of unbridled heroism. The bully is usually found out by the smaller person who’s years of being teased, pushed and punched could have led them down the path of MMA. It’s only logical that after careful thought, people gravitate to MMA. It is the only type of Martial Art that will give you all the skills needed take that leap of faith and finally stand up against the bully.
That person of small stature had transformed silently through dedicated training into a person capable of protecting themselves. That person who’s body numbing straight right punch to the solar plexus, followed by a double leg take down, mount control and careful negotiation from their first position of physical and/or mental leverage, overcame their tormentor in an outburst of frustrated anger.
It seemed like a miracle to their peers, but it was no miracle. One cannot overcome a problem without having the skills to solve it.
The Bully (After the bully’s been exposed).
Bully’s aren’t destined to be nasty people for eternity, as long as someone gives them that ‘Ah ha’ moment of clarity that its not going to feel rewarding to bully people anymore, the bully can be molded into a fine person. Frankly its probably safer for the bully to get ‘checked’ while still of school age, there are a lot more dangerous variables that come into play if a successful life long bully picks on someone when alcohol’s involved. There’s that old saying ‘there’s always someone better than you’.
The first choice they face is ‘ok I’ve lost my whole public image, or as they say in Japan ‘lost face’. Getting shamed last for years. Everyone going to that school knew about the bully, and everyone would be happy to see the bully hurt. So now we’re getting into ‘two wrongs don’t make a right’ time.
Unfortunately, because that person first latched onto being a bully after trying it once, the course of events leading to the scenario above was locked into destiny. Sooner or later it was going to happen. But what if we could get to the root of the problem, before anyone had been bullied at all? Why are their bullies in the first place?
I’m sure there’s been some great parents who incidentally had a child that was a bully. It’s not a direct reflection of the parenting standard from Mum and Dad. Everyone has two sides to their personality, the outside is the information they’re comfortable in giving, and putting out the image that they want to be. The inside holds the secrets from Mum and Dad, and most parents won’t find out their child’s a bully until things finally come to a head.
MMA teaches children how to respect themselves and to respect others. They learn discipline, they learn there’s always someone better than them, so its best not to pick fights.
I can’t imagine that trying to quit bullying can be easy, for a lot it was the only thing they were good at. They’ll need to start from scratch again, a recovery is possible. Society has been balanced, but that person who used to bully people may never take a chance again. They may never become a leader again, and never reach up to achieve their wildest dreams due to the damage their ego took.
If this person can be nurtured in the right way in the years following their biggest psychological trauma, we may just have a special person rising up in life. This person once had an alpha male mentality, and in a lot of sports, thats not a bad thing, especially MMA. The trick is to be able to nurture them back to the top of the mountain of self belief.
MMA coaches know how to nurture fragile souls through hard times and give them the type of confidence rebuilding training they need. The experience gained by coaching fighters through wins and losses is an invaluable tool when working with jaded kids.
The Victim (that person who stood up for them-self).
The moment one takes a stand is literally life changing. From every moment after that person now has the confidence to tackle any problem in life, because they’d just taken a chance and backed themselves and were successful. In that moment a leader was born.
There is a fork in the road for this person that seems always just around the corner, slightly unreachable until enough pondering and self hypothetical thought about the topic is done and all of a sudden they’ve chosen a road and the fork is behind them.
That topic sprouted from the feeling of glory. The first time someone experiences glory from a combat situation is the most elation and self adulation they’ve ever experienced.
You could win the grand final in footy, or a gold medal at the Olympics, and you’ll be ecstatic, but nothing compares to the feeling of winning a fight. This person may not ever need to test themselves in combat again. They remember every moment of being bullied and every moment of the confrontation. It wasn’t a pleasant thing to go through, no matter the rewards earned having gone through it all.
The former victim remembers the glory they felt and fortunately, glory is a feeling that’s easily prolonged by reminiscing. One can easily spend the rest of their lives never to fight again just knowing that they’ve done it before and can do it again if needed. They may continue to train, always ready to defend themselves, but feel as they’ve taken a challenge, passed the test and not long for more.
For other former victims, once they’ve had a taste of glory, they want more. Luckily that where MMA comes in. There’s a myriad of benefits in competing in MMA.
Needless to say, its a serious problem that needs more attention than its getting. I’ll offer a year’s free training to any bully or victim and I know the MMA classes will have a positive effect.